(via kigozula)
i Still cant believe sneaking out is an Actual thing that teenagers Do
this is just so unrealistic to me like what the fuck how do yall do it??? i have Arguments and Questions
1. like what am i supposed to do if i live in a building??? do i just wait for the elevator?? do i take the stairs?? mind me there could be a Lot of stairs
2. how THE FUCK do yall manage to do all this shit without waking anyone up?? this is So Fake!! if i so much as sneeze into my pillow my mom will come into my room and see if my ass is okay and then complain that i woke her up
3. HOW THE FUCK DONT YOUR PARENTS REALIZE YALL ARE GONE?? AND HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO COME BACK?? WHAT THE FUCK!!
4. if my mom found out that id been going places in the middle of the night u bet your ass id be dead the next day
5. i dont believe in this concept At Alli mean i guess it’s possible the way american houses are built but it’s still a bit far fetched imo but yea growing up in Puerto Rico in an urbanizacion it was like lmao you can’t sneak out in a house like that. first of all our windows are miami style of whatever, second of all there’s only 1 functioning door (technically our house had 2 but 1 of them had potted plants on both sides so it was never used but in any case both were on the same side of the house), and the house is so small like you would hear someone opening and closing it. plus you just know at least 1 person on your street would be up and would spill that piping hot tea to your parents the next day.
so my sister snuck out of the house one night because we live in an old house in the country that’s always creaking and “settling” which, good news: is perfect for sneaking out because there’s always weird noises anyway; bad news: we’re in the middle of the woods and there’s always creepy fucking noises
but hey, what are white girls gonna do except sneak out at night and through the woods to go have sex with their boyfriends?
what could go wrong??
and I do literally mean through the woods. our driveway is a quarter of a mile long through actual wooded area, and she wasn’t smart enough to grab a flashlight. but she could sort of see the headlights of her boyfriend’s car at the very end so it wasn’t so bad going down to be picked up
except when she got dropped off, she had to make the trip back up the driveway, through the dark scary woods, with no light whatsoever, at like 3 am or some other Gonna Get White Girl Murdered time
and she was high as fuuuuuuuuuuck
so she’s creeping her way back up the driveway, trying to move slow or else she’ll fall off the ground and get lost in the sky forever. really fucking high
then she steps on a frog
because we also have a 3 acre “pond” like our property isn’t fucking creepy enough already and my first-time-to-ever-be-high sister stepped on a FROG and apparently it both squished and belched, and keep in mind that with no light whatsoever she doesn’t know what the fuck just happened AT ALL
I wake up to a series of frantic text messages
hlp he lp HEL
dont’ tell momd and dad
i jsut murdered somtheing
also, just for context, this is also the sister that pierced her own ears and gave herself a stick’n’poke tattoo with a lighter and my mom’s sewing needle because she “got restless” and picked a fight with a girl two grades above, half a foot taller, and probably a hundred pounds heavier AND WON
(it doesn’t matter if you’re smol if you get ‘em on the ground and get on top)
anyway
so waking up to an “I just murdered something” text from her was … actually kind of inevitable. siblings are either ride or die or no officer I’ve never seen that person before, and that night, I decided I was ride or die
so then I take MY dumb white girl ass out into the woods in the middle of the night, but at least I’m smart enough to take a flashlight. sister had already texted me she was “onthe driveways” but again, that’s a quarter mile journey
finally I arrive at the scene of the crime
sister: sitting in the gravel, crying, makeup a Mess
frog: laying still beside her, looking like a slightly smaller Jabba the Hut
she points at the frog and sobs that it’s a heart. obviously a frog. a fucking BIG ASS frog, but still. I’m relieved, but also super pissed, because I drug myself out of bed, snuck out too, and dangled my sumptuous human body in front of all the Forest Monsters on my way down here and there isn’t even a fucking body
just a frog, which I pick up to show her is not a heart, and turns out to only be stunned! not dead! still very much alive and full of pee!!
so it pisses all over me and slimes out of my hand, escaping into the night
also, I totally held my sister’s hand with my Piss Hand as I led her back home because she deserved it
(via spookyx12)
go….. off
they are married to each other like yas fuck my whole life up
i feel like this never has enough info when it goes around so for those curious: this is ayabambi (otherwise known as aya sato and bambi), a japanese dance duo who are in fact engaged in real life and actually did a vogue photoshoot to celebrate the supreme court marriage ruling
theyve been in lots of music videos and adverts and stuff
lets not forget that their mentor is a drag queen named Mikey
(via dgauss)
PLEASE share this to any dog parent out there. My work has been warning all of our clients about this brand. Evanger’s injects their cows/chickens with a euthanasia drug, and their sanitation process does NOT get rid of it entirely. Dogs have died due to this problem. Please be careful with what you feed your bub.
(via unashamed-shipper)
@asociatewhen a friend reblogs the same thing as you but they reblog it from someone else
(via jimmyconbae)
If people don’t think women’s bodies are being controlled, they aren’t looking hard enough.
In contrast my husband got a vasectomy and no one even once suggested I might have an opinion on that.
ok so lemme take a minute here to just be fucking mad as all hell.
I don’t like to butt in on people’s posts, lord knows I don’t like starting shit but lemme take a second to tell y'all about getting ur lady bits put out of comission.
I, at the age of 12 years, was diagnosed with PCOS. For you that don’t know what that is, PCOS, or Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, is a LIFELONG medical condition where groups of cysts grow on your ovaries causing the production of female hormones in your body to go batshit nuts and cause a whole sideshow of different symptoms such as but not limited to:
- Irregular cardiac function (it’s a scary time)
- severe weight gain and trouble losing weight (i may eat healthy and work out daily but until I was down to 1-2 meals a day of spinach i wasn’t losing weight)
- severe adolescent acne, and adult acne
- extra hair on the face, chest, arms, legs, thumbs, belly and back (I shave my face everyday before class and usually before I go to bed)
- thinning hair on the scalp due to an excess of male hormones
- irregular or no periods
- HEAVY periods
- EXTREME PERIOD PAIN
- depression and anxiety
- pelvic pain
- increased risk for type 2 diabetes
- Increased for all female reproductive cancers due to infrequency of periods
Now, TMI, but I recently had my first period in 6 FUCKING YEARS. Due to the nature of PCOS generally when you have a period it’s because one of the cysts on your ovaries has burst releasing a flood of hormones into your system as well as built up toxins. Basically, when I had mine my body went into full on panic mode, nausea and vomiting, extreme fatigue, mood swings like you wouldn’t believe, my body went from being relatively alright to the cliffs of fucking Gallipoli in an hour flat. The kicker was on top of all that I had cramping so bad I actually blacked out.
Given that I know this is likely to happen again before I reach menopause, I decided to book an appointment with my local Planned Parenthood (applaud those lovely people and what they do) to see what my options were to make sure it never happens again. After telling me about various hormonal treatments they could prescribe me (not pills but IUDs shots and various other things) I asked them if it was possible for me to get a partial hysterectomy. A partial hysterectomy removes the uterus but keeps the ovaries so that they still are able to produce estrogen. The lady I had the appointment with looked at me with a look of the utmost pity and told me that unfortunately due to my age there would be likely no chance for any doctor to do it. When I pressed her on the topic she said that the most common excuse doctors will give you for it is that you’re too young, you might change your mind and want to have children later in life.
Now I dunno if y’all reading this are currently seeing anything wrong with this scenario here but I was told that I, someone who can’t have kids, doesn’t want kids, has never wanted kids, and would be put at severe risk of life threatening complications, have to have had children before anyone would consider giving me a surgery that not only would undoubtedly improve the quality of my life but also removeWell, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to get a referral from her during the appointment, I went home and decided to research this bullshit. Turns out that there is something commonly evoked when women want to have any part of their reproductive system put out of commission called the three child rule. Basically if you are young, doctors usually wont let you get either a hysterectomy or a partial hysterectomy UNLESS you have already had three children.
HOLD THE MOTHERFUCKING PHONE FOR A WHOLE SECOND AND THINK ABOUT THIS
By most doctors standards, YOU are REQUIRED as a woman to PHYSICALLY GIVE BIRTH to at least 3 CHILDREN before you are able to have any of your reproductive system removed or decommissioned.
And that isn’t even the worst part of it all, these standards DO NOT change when the patient is at high risk for reproductive cancers!
How fucking miserable is it that to take control of your own fucking health in a first world country a woman has to have submitted to the gender roles of having children or actually have contracted cancer or some other immediately life threatening condition.
(via papalogia)
WHO THE FUCK STOLE MY LEEKS!!
I’ll….just…be….going….
Imagine Person A keeps poking Person B, saying, “Hey! Look over here” and Person B keeps ignoring them because they’re trying to do something. After about thirty seconds of this, Person B finally turns and says “okay what do you want” and Person A kisses them.
(via devilslcg)
Team Thor: Pt. 2, Where Are They Now?
@misshyen if this is the MCU Thor, I’m actually gonna change my mind about him XD
Oh my God @armenian-nerd I’m laughing so hard I have tears. He’s on a bike giving out a gazillion human dollars in coins, lmao!!!!!!! His outfit! lol!
You know, one thing i like about Mulan is how Yao, Ling and Chien Po don’t really seem to care about the fact that Mulan is a girl.
I mean, when they find out, they are visibly perplexed
But even so, they rush and try to help her when she’s about to get killed
After this, they all seem quite depressed about having to leave her behind (and when Shang ignores her)
And when she shows up and takes action, they gladly follow her lead
And they even rock some crossdressing, like she did
(btw they just missed a great opportunity to make Shang crossdress here, shame on you movie)
Honestly, i just think this needs more appreciation. Because to them, Mulan didn’t have to prove herself again, just because she is a girl. She already earned their friendship and respect when she was ‘Ping’, and that was enough.
(via dailyhangover)
A Soldier and a Marine just testing out their camo.
lololololol
I’m reblogging this again cause it’s that awesome.
Then there’s the Navy
I hadn’t seen the Navy one
That’s the idea
(via thepisslord)
(via all-about-friends)